Easy Ways to Veganize Thanksgiving

Nov 05, 2020

"Still you feed us lies from the tablecloth"
-System of a Down,
"B.Y.O.B."

There's nothing thankful in gluttony. No matter what people say, Thanksgiving is really all about food. It's yet another excuse we use to justify feasting, gorging ourselves so much that we have to loosen a few buttons on our pants to prevent ourselves from throwing up. The day after, we spend money on ourselves and others, buying gifts to reward our good behavior or buying gifts just because that's what we're supposed to do this time of year. Regardless of how you choose to celebrate Thanksgiving, at least we can veganize it with some simple tweaks of outdated traditions.

1. Don't celebrate

If you can't tell already, I'm not a huge fan of Thanksgiving. It always meant uncomfortable family get-togethers and food that I was too picky to ever try (except pumpkin pie, of course). But now, it's the perversion of the holiday that disturbs me. The idolization of a stuffed corpse on a table as a symbol of thankfulness is, frankly, revolting. More than any other traditional American holiday, I find this one the most barbaric, which feels ironic given the origination of the holiday from the introduction and expansion of pilgrims in America and their subsequent identification of Native Americans as "savages."

As a vegan and an environmentalist, I try to be thankful every day that I am living to create a better future, to cause as little harm as possible. Instead of giving thanks over the "sacrifice" of a turkey's corpse, I am thankful I'm no longer a contributor to carnism. While there's nothing inherently wrong with a holiday of selflessness and thankfulness, there's nothing selfless or thankful in traditional Thanksgiving traditions. So, if you don't want to be a part of that, then just don't celebrate. (And don't worry about people thinking you're weird for doing so.)

2. Offer to contribute

If you still want to celebrate and be with family, then it's a good idea to offer to bring plant-based foods or provide recipes to the host. They probably don't realize how easy it is to make a pumpkin pie without milk and eggs or that mashed potatoes are even better with plant-based butter or milk; by helping them out with food and food suggestions, you'll alleviate some of the stress they're feeling about making special foods on an already stressful holiday. (Also, be sure to tell them exactly what foods are not vegan-friendly. Otherwise, they may accidentally buy/make something non-vegan, or they may think that you will only eat the cranberries.)

If you're up to the challenge, you can offer to host a totally vegan Thanksgiving at your home to let your family get a taste of how decadent and delicious vegan food can be. Or have a vegans-only Thanksgiving where you don't have to worry about your stubborn old uncle complaining about every single dish.

3. Animal rights cornucopia

Traditional cornucopias are already filled with plants: squashes, gourds, and other seasonal fruits and vegetables. While these cornucopias are perfectly fine and beautiful in their own right, we don't need to always follow traditions, and we can fill cornucopias with anything. You can fill yours with pamphlets about veganism; myriad stuffed farmed animals as a way of teaching people about how each animal is exploited; or sweet plant-based treats (storebought or homemade) to show that "vegan food" isn't just vegetables.

4. Attend Thanksgiving at a Sanctuary

Many farm sanctuaries offer some kind of special Thanksgiving dinner for guests. If you don't want to be with your non-vegan family on Thanksgiving (understandable), you can spend the holiday with like-minded people. And instead of eating turkeys, you can cuddle turkeys and listen to their glorious gobbles as you eat your turkey-free food. This is also a good opportunity to bring any carnist friends or family with you to meet some actual farmed animals. Maybe that will help them make the connection to keep turkeys (and all animals) off their plates on Thanksgiving (and the other 364 days of the year).

5. Activism Opportunities

5.1 Pardon all turkeys

Much of my ire for Thanksgiving comes from this one tradition. I think the turkey pardon is one of the most disturbing, disgusting practices in our society. Carnists may be confused by this, asking, "You're a vegan, so shouldn't you be happy that the turkey gets to live?" To which I'd answer, "Of course; I'd rather one turkey live than none. But what would be even better is for all turkeys to live." The turkey pardon is an acknowledgment that killing turkeys is wrong, because if it weren't, then why would it matter if we let any of them live? Is the pardon supposed to be a sign of our benevolence? I sure hope not because then I may never regain any semblance of faith in humanity.

Honestly, it makes me want to burst into tears thinking about how there's just one lone turkey who gets to survive this sadistic holiday. It's a genocide, and there's only one survivor left from the massacre of Thanksgiving 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, and every year going back decades. Every other turkey she had ever known, the only ones she could have considered friends or family, have been cooked and eaten all for the sake of some asinine human tradition to play pretend like we're pilgrims. Just stop: Stop exploiting animals; stop eating turkeys; stop and think for yourself for a change.

I'm not sure what the activism opportunity is here because I'm just so upset by the whole thing. Use #turkeypardon on social media to spread the message that this needs to stop, or stage a protest about the hypocrisy of pardoning one turkey instead of all of them, or perform a disruption at your local grocery store to prevent people from buying their infantile corpses. Just do something to end this hypocritical insanity.

5.2 Wear vegan clothing

I'm not sure if I'll ever go to a family Thanksgiving gathering again, but if I do, I'm not against wearing one of those "thankful for vegans" shirts with a turkey on it. Actually, I don't think I could be around carnists on Thanksgiving without doing something like that because then I'd just feel complicit in the murder of the turkey. (Which, I know, is not my fault, and I don't think vegans should feel guilt over the actions of others, including their family. It's just something about this holiday that drives me crazy.)

5.3 Turkey trots

People seem to like to remind themselves that Thanksgiving is the holiday where we murder turkeys because everything is turkey-themed this time of year. You watch the Macy's parade and there's a turkey float; you watch the football games and there're people wearing dead turkey hats; you go to see your family and Aunt Susan has turkeys embroidered on her sweater and, oh look, she decorated the entire house with little turkey tchotchkes -- even the dishtowels and Uncle George's apron have turkeys on them -- she got on sale at HomeGoods.

If there's a turkey trot in your area, protest it and make people face the turkeys they so gleefully exploit. Or participate in the turkey trot while wearing your best anti-turkey-exploitation attire. Make all those carnists uncomfortable about gobbling down a turkey corpse and eating stuffing out of its carcass.

5.4 Protest the American Kennel Club

I used to enjoy seeing the pretty dogs (and funny-looking dogs) prance around at the AKC dog show after the Thanksgiving Day Parade, but now it's just a reminder that we're so far away from a vegan world that people won't even stop breeding dogs just so they can trot in a circle for 20 seconds. All those dogs represent the millions of animals killed in shelters every year because consumers want purebreds or doodles instead of a mutt. (Ironically, though, many dogs in shelters are purebreds rescued from the breeding industry.) I mean, I guess it's really ridiculous to ask people to stop breeding animals because how could you possibly love a dog if you don't know their entire genetic line?

Instead, protest the dog show and take over their hashtags on social media to make it all about the reproductive exploitation of the dogs and the deaths of shelter animals.

5.5 Adopt a turkey online

Many sanctuaries offer symbolic online adoptions year-round, but for Thanksgiving, you can choose to adopt a turkey with a donation to help the sanctuary care for their animals. Goodness knows that turkeys need a little extra love this time of year.

5.6 Boycott Black Friday

Though Black Friday isn't inherently non-vegan, it's definitely a symptom of some of the severe problems in our society: consumerism, instant gratification, egotism, speciesism. Black Friday is proof that Thanksgiving is nothing but a sham. The day after we give thanks for what we have, we fight over who gets the last Keurig at Walmart or the latest PlayStation at Target, as if that's actually important. We take, take, take whatever we want, and we don't think about the true costs behind the scenes: the environmental destruction, the habitat loss, the exploitation of workers, the animals' deaths.

6. Break the tradition

Breaking a wishbone and getting "good luck" from having the larger piece is a deplorable and disgusting tradition. Instead, switch it out for a new, humane Thanksgiving tradition. You can do the same exact thing with a cinnamon stick, or you can come up with a completely new lucky tradition, or you can just eliminate it altogether. Sure, it may not be lucky or have any significance whatsoever, but who cares? It's not like breaking a dead turkey's bone is actually going to do anything for you, either. Traditions have no meaning anymore; it's just for fun.

7. Food Ideas

7.1 The Roast

If you want to try a plant-based roast and are confident in your culinary prowess, you can make your own (which would probably be the healthier option because you can control how much oil, salt, and other ingredients to use). However, if you would prefer not to take any chances, many grocery stores offer them. Some stores even have whole shelf sections devoted just to that. If that's your choice, here are a few options:

Tofurky makes several roasts for the holiday season
No Evil Foods has a roast called The Pardon (the only acceptable pardon, in my opinion)
Field Roast's Celebration Roast is available year-round, but they also have other roast options available just for the holidays
Gardein has a special holiday roast only available this time of year
Trader Joe's also makes a breaded turkey-less roast
Plant-based butchers often offer holiday roasts and meal plans that you can order online -- you may even have a local vegan butcher in your area!
- The Herbivorous Butcher
- The Very Good Butchers

7.2 Online Stores

Sometimes you can't find everything you want at local stores, but there are vegan shops online you can check out for all your holiday needs.

7.3 Sides

Most sides and desserts -- rice pilaf (no more of that stuffing crap), cranberries, gravy, mashed potatoes, dinner rolls, haricots verts, roasted squash, pumpkin pie -- are already vegan, can be accidentally vegan, or can easily be veganized. Just ensure you check the ingredients before buying anything -- milk, eggs, honey, and meat can secretly be hidden in items like bread and gravy -- and don't be afraid to get creative with your recipes. Try mashed cauliflower (which is better than white potatoes if you avoid high glycemic foods) or miso-mushroom gravy (get those probiotics!) or freeze your pumpkin pie filling to make it into pumpkin ice cream (I promise you won't be disappointed).

7.4 Drinks

I don't drink alcohol because I don't like the idea of taking mind-altering substances, but there are plenty of exciting, autumnal drink ideas you can try instead of plain water: apple cider; sparkling cider; healthy, homemade unsweetened punch -- instead of sweetening it with sugar, add fruit slices (apples, cranberries, pears, oranges); and chai tea. If you do choose to imbibe, ensure your liquor doesn't contain isinglass, gelatin, or other animal-derived ingredients; check out Barnivore for a comprehensive list of what alcoholic drinks are and aren't vegan-friendly.

be conscious, be kind, be vegan